AIRPORT LIFE

'Glad you got off your fizzer Sven'. 

'Which one Senior?'

'The "casual sexism" one' 

'Oh that one'. 

'How did you manage it?'

'I convinced them I hadn't finished discriminating against the men. Got quite a few witnesses too. Then I got the their witnesses tied up and and one accused me of being a real sexist male pig. Which is quite sexist. Thrown out'.

'You're not one to bear a grudge are you?'

'Me? Honestly; why would you think that?'

'Hmmmnnh. What are you reading?'

'This? I'm the new Health and Safety rep and these are the rules I'm studying. It takes four weeks to qualify, you know'.

'Oh God. Look, because of the shift pattern, they only appear together once a week, why make a fuss?'

'Hmmmnnh; sorry what did you say? I was busy looking at the section on electrical equipment'.

'Jesus'.

Week One:

'Why the long faces ladies?'

'TV's not working'.

'Oh dear how sad, never mind. Assignments as follows....'

Later.

'Sven?'

'Yes Delboy?'

'Someones taken the batteries out of the TV remote'

'Really? How awful. Meal break?'

'Ooh, yes please it's nice and quiet'.

Week Two:

'Why so glum ladies?'

'TV's not working, we had new batteries put in the remote'.

'Oh dear how sad, never mind. Assignments as follows....'

Later.

'Sven?'

'Yes Bernie?'

'Someone's put the batteries in the wrong way around in the TV remote'

'Really? How awful. Meal break?'

'Ta, ever so. I may have a nap'.

Week Three:

'Why.......?'

'TV's not working and we know you're doing something'.

'Prove it. Assignments as follows....'

Later.

'Sven?'

'Yes Norm?'

'Someones taken the fuse out of the TV plug'

'Really? How awful. Meal break?'

'Yes, please. You know, it has become a lot quieter in the office of late. The boys would like to thank you'.

'My pleasure old love. To Fly, to Serve'.

Week Four:

'...'

'We know it's you'.

'What?'

'The TV. You keep sabotaging it'.

'No, no. That would be underhand. This in the other hand is a pair of insulated clippers'.

Snick.

'You've just cut the TV cable!'

'No. I've made safe an unauthorised piece of electrical equipment. I'm your new Health and Safety rep. Assignments as follows....'

Later.

'Sven?'

'Yes Senior?'

'You are a wag. New TV?'

'Next week. The Allocator keeps the remote. Meal break?'

2-NOV-2016